Be the best ! Practice to Excel !

It is now 13 months that I have been practicing Executive Coaching as an independent professional. All my earlier experience as a coach were internal to organization which provided me an opportunity to practice , learn and hone my skills. The perspectives, I have gained , of coaching internally as a Learning & Development professional and later as an independent has truly been enriching & in many ways have helped my evolution as a coach.The journey has been humbling. Each Client/Coachee has experienced gains from this coaching relationship.  While they attribute their success to me as coach , it has been truly their own courage to reflect & change, get out of comfort zones and go out to try new things which have a radical impact on their desired goals & outcomes. They have experienced & acknowledged transformational , sustainable change.

Relationship with key stakeholders, Executive Presence , Communication , Conflict resolutions, Career Transitions, Managing Board members, Investing time, Building networks & many more areas in Coaching have helped me as a coach too to evolve and hone my skills. In coaching , there have been many a moments when as a coach I have been challenged. These challenges push you to reflect on your own effectiveness .Forcing me to think hard and have a dialogue with myself has helped me continuously expand my portfolio. 

Today as I share these thoughts , I realize that I have now coached for more than 400 hours. This is almost like 8 hours each week past 12 months.

There have been many things which have helped me reach where I am as a coach. If there is one thing that has had biggest impact on me as a coach , it has been my training / helping other people to be a coach. We have all known that " best way to learn is to teach". For me, this learning was there & yet I had made no conscious effort in last so many years to apply it for my own development. This is what happens with most professionals. We forget our lessons. We do not institutionalize our own success behaviors. 

For me it was providence or chance that one of my ex colleague requested me handle a training session that he was conducting as a Master Coach. Providence , as I myself at that stage had just qualified as a certified coach with probably less than 100 hours of coaching experience. It was immediately followed by an assignment to train employees in large MNC to be manager-coaches at workplace. Well, conducting those sessions - demonstrating coaching & then critiquing / giving feedback to trainee coaches started it all for me. I started having inner dialogue with each coaching conversation not only of mine but also the trainee coach.

My own dialogue with myself improved over these experiences , because with each training I was learning more and more. I therefore say that " teaching/ training" has been the best thing for me , helping me learn more.

Research suggests that 10000 hours of practice would make anyone expert / best at what he does.  Well all athletes & musicians have been known to start not only young but also put in practice hours of almost 6-8 hours per day / close to 50 hours each week. This way they practice 10000 hours in 4-5 years. No wonder they reach the pinnacle of performance and success in late teens to early 20s.

Where am I , at 400 hours !!! WOW

Simple mathematics and a basic assumption that if we practice something where we wish to be better , for 10 hours each week , could take us 1000 weeks i.e. close to 20 years. Can we afford to wait so long as coaches or as professionals ? Certainly not. 

We can even argue that corporate professionals need not reach such level of expertise & perfection. Fair enough. Let us slash it to to 2000 hours.With 10 hours each week it would still be 4 years. The biggest challenge, in pursuit to excellence , that confronts the professionals is not time. The challenge is where do they practice & hone their skills. Do they have the luxury in the corporate world today ? Corporates do want almost perfection & yet fail to provide for such an opportunity, an opportunity to their employees to practice those desired skills & success behaviors.

Here is now a suggestion that professionals may consider. If the organizations are not supporting your plans to improve yourself & achieve excellence in any skill or competency you may look at following:

1. Identify every 3-6 months one skill or competency that you are good & wish to radically move towards excellence. 

2. Identify at least one person ( team member/ peer/ colleague) whom you believe will benefit from your support in the identified skills/competency.

3. Discuss with that person & seek his consent for training / teaching in identified skill/competency.

4. Create an action plan & start execution.

5. Keep reviewing the plan & take corrective actions
 
This journey will create new insights & learning's in you , as It did with me, to be prepared each day , each time you interact with your " trainee". To teach him to be good , your preparation would make you learn more .

Over a period you would find yourself "Great " at those skills & competencies which were just " Good " at.

If you have done this , share.

If you consider the approach is simplistic, try it, validate.

3 Ways to Go Further,Faster

By Michael Hyatt

Several years ago, I wrote out a list of “100 Things I Want to Do Before I Die.” It’s really an amazing, audacious list. Whenever I review it, I am both inspired and stunned by how many of the items I have already accomplished. And yet, there is so much more. The list keeps growing.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/RichVintage

I’ll bet you have a list, too. Perhaps you’ve written it down; perhaps not. Regardless, you doubtless want to accomplish things—probably a lot of things. Really important things. Unfortunately, life is short. I have more to accomplish than I could probably do in seven lifetimes.

So how do you actually make significant progress on your goals? How can you get more things done and squeeze as much juice out of life as possible?

One of the most important things you can do, of course, is to write down your goals. I have written about this in The 90-Day Challenge, so I won’t repeat myself here. But assuming you have done that, what’s next?

I’m going to tell you the single most important action you can take to go further, faster and to make your dreams become reality. I have done this over and over again in my life. To the extent I have achieved any level of success, I believe this is the secret:

Enlist the help of the best coaches and instructors you can afford.

My assumption is that someone, somewhere has already done what you are attempting to do—and done it well. If you can tap into their experience and learn from it, you can get to where you want to go faster and with fewer missteps along the journey.

There are basically three ways you can do this. These are arranged from least expensive to most expensive. However, you can often find free alternatives if you look hard enough.

Read the best, most relevant information. My journey into uncharted territory always begins with a search on Google. There is a ton of free information on the web (obviously). This will give you a feel for who the experts are and what they have to say. If I want to go deeper, I then buy the best books I can find on a given topic. For example, when I took up digital photography, I bought the three books with the highest Amazon ranking and the best customer reviews. I did the same when I decided to start running or wanted to learn how HTML or CSS. This is a relatively inexpensive way to learn the basics and get a broad working knowledge of the topic at hand.

But this step doesn’t just apply to new interests. I continue to read in areas where I am                 already proficient. I want to deepen my knowledge and my skills sharp.

Sign-up for specialized classes. I have a short attention span, so full-length, longer-term courses don’t work for me. I get bored. I prefer the all-day, three-day, or (occasionally) a one-week course. For example:

• When I wanted to figure out my purpose in life and where I fit into the totality of God’s plan, I attended John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart Boot Camp. It was so good that I went back two more times. The last time I took my two sons-in-law with me.
• When I wanted to learn how to build a great marriage, Gail and I attended several courses on marriage, some taught by Gary Smalley. (A bit of trivia: Gary and his wife, Norma, introduced Gail and me to each other. He actually performed our marriage ceremony.) A few years ago, we attended Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs’ “Love and Respect” marriage seminar. It was outstanding.
• When I wanted to learn how to create alignment in teams, I took a one-week course from Gap International called “The Alignment Intensive.” It blew my mind. I use the tools I learned in this course almost every day.
• When I wanted to improve my writing skills, I signed up for an intensive one-week course from American Writers & Artists, Inc. called, “The Copywriting Success Bootcamp.” This was one of the best professional investments I ever made. Recently, I went through the Fast, Effective Copywriting course. It was worth every penny.
• When I wanted to improve my golf short game, I signed up for a one-day course with Nancy Quarcelino, one of the best golf teachers in the country. Though my game is still not all that great, it’s a lot better since taking this course.
• When I wanted to learn how to use Photoshop to edit my digital photos, I took a one-day course from Ben Willmore called, “Photoshop for Digital Photographers.” (Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like he is teaching this any longer. But he does have plenty of other great resources.
• When I wanted to take my Bible study to the next level, I spent last weekend going through a seven-hour video seminar taught by Morris Proctor called “Camp Logos Live.” It was a detailed, excellent course on how to use Logos Bible Software. It was incredible.

These are just a few examples of dozens I could cite. Some of these courses were free. Some cost a few hundred dollars. In a few rare instances, the courses cost several thousand dollars. Regardless, you can sometimes find very good, free or inexpensive courses taught by churches or other non-profit organizations or even local colleges. Like I said, enlist the help of the best coaches and instructors you can afford.

Hire world-class experts. Next, I enlisted the help of real people who could hone my skills beyond what I could learn in a book or garner from a course. For example,

• When I wanted to create sustainable work/life balance, I hired Daniel Harkavy, the president and founder of Building Champions. He helped me craft my very first “life plan.” (You can do the same with my free e-book.) He then held my feet to the fire until I got my equilibrium. (He is also the author of the excellent book, Becoming a Coaching Leader.)
• When I wanted to take my personal leadership skills to the next level and really see how my own thinking was impacting my corporate results, I hired Ilene Meuthing of Gap International. She’s basically did a brain transplant on me., helping me change my thinking and produce better outcomes.
• When I wanted to figure out why I kept slicing my drives, I hired Nancy Quarcelino for a two-hour session. She videotaped me, so I could see the problem in my swing and fix it for good. Last week when I played, I hit every drive but two into the middle of the fairway.
• When I wanted to get in the best shape of my life, I hired Tom Gmitter at my local YMCA as my personal trainer. He designed a plan that I could have never developed on my own. He also kept changing up my routine, so I wouldn't get bored. He worked out with me twice a week for two years.

In addition, in the course of my life, I have hired nutritionists, counselors, music teachers, accountants, lawyers, fishing guides, agents, and various kinds of instructors and coaches. Some have been short-term; some have been long-term. My philosophy is to use them as long as they continue to provide value.

Note that I said, “hire the best coaches and instructors you can afford.” For years, the most I could afford was to check out a book from the library. Don’t worry about what you can’t afford or do. Focus, instead, on what you can afford and do that.

In the end, you can accomplish more than you ever thought possible. And you can do it faster and with better results if you just enlist the assistance of the right guide and do what they say. I can’t think of anything else that will help you accomplish your goals more than this.

Question: What coach can you enlist today to enable you to accomplish your goals?

Mr Entrepreneur , You are the competitive advantage !

I had an opportunity to participate in a session & learn from an experienced HR leader on the subject of “Training & Retention in Small & Medium Enterprises”. The audience comprised of entrepreneurs of start- ups and steady state medium sized enterprises in Hyderabad, India.


Apart from speaker, the nature of questions and information sharing amongst the entrepreneur audience was of immense value & brought new insights for me.  I share some of these and more.


Similar to any career, entrepreneurial endeavors are a journey. Entrepreneurs really measure their success or failure at the end, not at the milestones. Like corporate leadership, entrepreneurs also pursue a very lonely path. It is also akin to individual sport where you are practicing alone to be the best among the best and yet you do not know what best is your competitor preparing for. Tiger Woods, Venus Williams besides being world class athletes, what do they all have in common? They all have a coach. If world class athletes have coaches, why wouldn’t it be appropriate for those in the business world to avail of coaching?

The issue of coaching is interesting and especially valuable in the context of business. My premise is simple: coaching, properly defined and applied, is a competitive if not essential advantage, especially for those in the small & medium business environment.

The coach serves as an external “conscience,” holding the entrepreneur accountable to execute those things standing between him or her and self-actualization, realizing full potential as a person“ the focus is to help the client thrive in professional life and maximize effectiveness in the workplace.”

A coach’s role is focused on helping to develop or increase skills that make the person more effective in a given job. This includes balancing and integrating personal and professional attributes and considerations, but the focus is to help the client thrive in professional life and maximize effectiveness in the workplace (everything from internal meetings to partner negotiations).

Why Entrepreneurs Need Coaching:

Whoever coined the phrase “It’s lonely at the top” must have had the entrepreneur in mind. It doesn’t get any lonelier. Entrepreneurs, as individuals, are the business in many cases. They have direct reports, family, maybe even a board; but there is no “organization” to hire a coach if they need additional resources, or even to require or suggest benefits from coaching.

They face the same issue as the “corporate” CEO; however, the entrepreneur often doesn’t have access to the same resources. I have found most of the successful entrepreneurs that I have worked with or known to have a number of characteristics in common; they are visionary, driven to the point of obsession, have a high need for control, and in business dealings these entrepreneurs may tend to be more loners. They have built the business from the ground up, they made the decisions and founded the key relationships often alone.

Skills like delegation, collaboration, and process management don’t come naturally to entrepreneurs. I have seen them struggle with issues such as delegation, staff selection, succession planning, and team or collaborative -based decision -making. They will seek advice from technical advisers such as accountants, attorneys, but many of the business skills learned in corporate world aren’t part of an entrepreneur’s experiential base. Bluntly, many of the “technical” advisers have limited experience outside of their core competency areas.

‘It’s lonely at the top.’

As businesses move forward and evolve, an entrepreneur will find that it’s critical to do several things:

- Co-relate “human” processes and business results.


- Develop and strengthen relationships with the “team”, including succession planning for oneself and other key staff.


- Articulate personal mission and vision, especially as the business grows



- Create opportunities for staff to discuss their needs and opportunities for development

I also believe that in smaller or closely held businesses, some of the issues targeted by executive coaches are even more critical. In the small organization every hire is a key hire, every decision is a key decision. A significant erroneous business decision doesn’t mean I don’t get my “bonus,” it means I might lose my life savings and my home.

A few significant statistics support the value of coaching:

· A return –on -investment study from Fortune 1000 companies showed an average of a 600% return on the dollars they invested in executive coaching. They saw specific improvements in productivity, quality, organizational strength, and customer satisfaction.

· Another study showed a 529% ROI directly attributable to coaching and other intangible benefits.


I believe these are the kind of numbers that get anyone attention ! . Here is the business case for entrepreneurs & it also makes you feel a lot less lonelier at the top too !

Game Changer : Coaching leaders in small & Mid size organization!

Coaching is such a new phenomenon in Asia , that to all practical purposes, no one knows what it is. So at any given time less than 1 in 10,000 people are actually looking for a coach. 

(According to the American Society for Training and Development (ASTD) , Organizations spend over $200 billion on training and development each year, and It's a widely held opinion within the training industry that between 50 and 90% of training is utterly wasted. Coaching is a much better solution to many situations.

Each year people spend hundreds of millions of dollars on books they never read and workshops whose content they quickly forget. Just look back at the library at home & you would find a self-help book adorning the shelves. Has it helped you change & improve? Not very likely. 

Many of the traditional approaches of imparting new knowledge do not translate into changes in behaviour. Coaching is a far more effective solution. Coaching engages the uniqueness of the individual. Coaching is an on-going relationship that raises awareness, connects the client with their passions and deepest desires and holds them accountable to get the results they want. People grow and change with a coach. Coaching doesn't just get results; it gets the most meaningful results. These results are in business, sales , revenues & even personal areas too.

In my journey as a Learning & development professional & as an Executive Coach in past 3-4 years, I have noticed a clear trend in Indian companies. 

1.  The Major IT companies use coaches (Internal and external) extensively for working with their technical leaders who to be effective & aligned to their client needs, need to develop social & emotional skills as well communication style.

2.     There are these large Indian companies who have built academies to nurture and grow their talent and retain them. Each Year the cost of hiring new talent is growing. These companies have used coaching “ as a perk” to groom their high potentials and also make their leaders move from “ good to great”

3.     Then there are some companies who get funded / PE investments from abroad. Since Coaching is quite prevalent in US/UK, these companies insist on talent development and therefore coaching is introduced by them as a tool for achieving desired new behaviours.

It may be debatable to say but let me hazard saying that these companies could well do without coaching. They can still get the desired results with traditional ways of people development. Some may argue that these organizations can afford it. My counter argument is that while they can afford it, they very well could do without it too.

Let us see now whether coaching could help the smaller companies, owner/promoter driven listed & non listed companies in meeting their challenges like:

a.      Hiring best talent. Small organizations can either not afford them or this talent is not willing to move to either company and / or the city

b.      Old loyalists. They have served well over the years but in this age of competition and innovation they are unable to change and in fact resist and dissuade and drive away new talent. Some promoters even share that these old loyalists do not recruit teams who are better than them, fearing a challenge to them.

c.    Leadership behaviors at workplace continue to be hands-on driving away talent who would like to have freedom along with accountability

d.      Promoter’s family members joining the business. Generally these are youngsters and need to be up & running quickly. However they are put under some mentors where because of proximity to power, their mentors tend to be soft. They are unable to manage their way through, unless they come with great education. In fact even those from promoter’s family who come with Engg. / MBA degrees from rated colleges do get frustrated with organization culture and people (b & c above).

Large organizations with deep pockets create systems and processes in people management space which smaller companies cannot afford. These systems are best in talent acquisition, management and development. They understand people quality impact top & bottom line.

The argument for smaller companies is therefore that even in absence of best & bench-marked systems you would do well to address some of the challenges that I talked about earlier. These are addressable without elaborate investments in HR automation. All you need are expert coaches who have the ability to identify the solutions holistically including some bit of support training for change management but mostly to work with each of senior leaders to help them develop new behaviours aligned to expectations and market requirements. The Coaches must be selected carefully. I say this because there could be a tendency to hire an old senior retired employee. While they may be good, they are not coaches who are specially trained and certified to work with people & help them move from where they are to where they want to be or their organizations desire them to be.

It is an idea worth exploring by the smaller companies who should never spend a single rupee without seeking to know the return.Coaching is the only tool whose impact can be measured. Perhaps the only people development tool to help you calculate the return on investment. Is that not what matters?

Everyone needs a Coach!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=a7qnTMvw92U

This Link conveys & establishes that " Everyone needs a coach"...

Please have a Look

Turn commute time into something worthwhile

In the last 25 years of my professional life, I have lived and worked in Delhi, Noida, Chandigarh, Mumbai & now Hyderabad. In each of these cities the stay has been atleast 4-5 years. I observed these cities change as time goes by and traffic chaos increase. It has impacted the commute time and except Delhi where Metro may have helped people manage their commute better, all other cities have had no respite. I don't know anybody in Delhi or Mumbai who takes less than half an hour in their daily home-office commute, one way. Quite a many take a minimum of 45 minutes, some even go up to two hours one way. Assuming the average at 45 minutes, taken both ways that makes it an hour and a half daily, 540 minutes a six-day week, and 432 hours a year. So, we are actually on the road 18 days in a year! And that is just work commute alone.


A study puts the average commuting time in Mumbai at 47.26 minutes; Delhi at 42.96; Bangalore at 37.91; Chennai at 36.08; Hyderabad at 33.82 and Pune at 30.87 minutes.

In India especially the frustration of bad driving habits, poor road conditions and endless jams are real cause of stress. Indians are adaptable, and so they have adapted to this as well. One can see that those lucky enough to be driven by another, putting their time to good use. In most cases, it is the ubiquitous cell phone that comes to the rescue, as people fix business appointments, give instructions, return calls or catch up with friends while cooped up in a stationary vehicle. The technology, read Ipods, Ipads (Wifi, 3G) has made people spend their time, catching up work, and not fretting over being stuck in jams or driving long distances. Music continues to soothen the nerves too. The FM channels in all metros have lots of funny and humorous anchors who can keep you in splits while waiting for traffic to move. FM channels do give updates on traffic jams on certain stretches of roads, for commuters to take plan detours and avoid delays and resultant stress.

Well, there is certain category of people, in fact a large number that I know of who now consider & plan their schedule during commuting. You will hear very of often someone saying “I will call you once I get into car” or “I look at mails once I get into comfort of my car”. One would say it is a perfect way to optimize your productivity.

All this is fine as long as the stress and fatigue of long travel times does not result into road rage or carrying over stress to homes in evenings ( rather night) or offices in the morning.

One trend which may emerge over time, only if some marketer sees money in it, is audio books. The audio books exist, we all know. I had never thought about them, never bought any. Lately, I felt that commute can be put to some better use other than doing usual stuff. So, began listening to Audio books during my 20 minutes commute. In fact it is a good way to marry your love for reading & paucity of time. I just happened to come across these audio books at a store in Hyderabad. Just recently walked into “Reliance Time-out” and was amazed at the no of titles available, all reasonably priced. Even on Flipkart.com there are great no. of titles available. I believe this is a boon for all the harried commuters. One can copy these files into Ipods and even while travelling in local bus, metro train can read (listen) to books they always wanted to but had no time for. The run time on an average, for any of this audio book is 3 hours and going by average commute times, one can read (listen) a new book every week. These titles range from self help, management to fiction too.

So guys happy commuting & wish you time well spent.

Coaching with Dr. Marshall Goldsmith

I recently attended a 2 day workshop on executive coaching at Indian School of Business ( ISB ) , Hyderabad with Dr Marshall Goldsmith , International renowned Executive Coach and author of many books including the Best Seller " What brought you here won't get you there". He said, while handing over an autographed copy of this book, that while this is best seller and was among top10 selling books in US , another book which sold more than his, was a diet book. He was quite easy with that. But the bigger point he made was , that only if we could all get thinner by buying & reading diet books, US would have the most thinnest people in the world . But the reality is different.

We all know what is good , but we dont go out and do that good.Those who do..go and make life for themselves and impact lives of others too ..

I had planned to attend his workshop to learn and hone my skills as an executive coach. But Marshall Goldsmith had something else in mind too. A buddhist , I could make out , is out there sharing his wisdom and learnings much beyond executive coaching.

I am not going into details of his effective coaching methodology and his success around the world with CEOs of Multi Billion dollar corporations acknowledging his contribution. Perhaps a google search with his name would tell you more than I can in this blog . So go and read if you are interested. I am here to share that I have learned some things that I did not go there for. I am thankful to him for that. I always knew that I have to learn a lot , apart from other things , to be a executive coach in behavioral areas. What I learnt though is that I need to be a better person and human being first. Please don't miss my " better". I am a good person and human being. I need to be better though. In so many ways.

Dr Marshall Goldsmith reminded us. He shared a story of our very own Mahatma Gandhi. A lady came to him and requested him to persuade her son to leave sugar. Gandhiji asked them to come back after 6 months. Six months later the women asked him the reasons for asking them to wait for this time. He said I wanted to leave sugar myself before advising others to do it.

I guess Dr. Marshall Goldsmith was asking us, goading us , persuading us to be better person,before we go out and start coaching others. Other participants in the program may not agree with me, but so what. I dont care. I got my message. I am going to work on it.

In fact I have begun. I needed to start and sustain the learnings.I feel nice about it. Take a deep breath. My co participants will understand. Thank you Marshall. Thank you all.

Before I sign off , I will be back with more on what I have done .My next blog.

Mother

My Mother is 83 now. Struggling with Cancer,back problem,bed ridden,aided by nurses for her basic needs. She religiously takes all the medicines that my brothers/sister in laws motivate her to take. She has been through hell past 5 months.She wants to get up and move around without any help.She doesn't like any bit of it. She doesn't respond as enthusiastically to positive, motivational talks by her sons & Daughter in laws.

She was never like this. She was never the one to cow down. She had lived her life working hard and working for well of others.

I am reminded of a summer holiday , as a 10-11 year old way back in 70s. I was sitting on a chair and she across me.I don't remember how but, she started sharing the experiences of her migrating to India in the tragic partition of 1947, alongwith her sisters. I kept listening with awe,surprise and horror. The travails of 3 sisters , my mother being youngest at 20 / 21 , boarding the train from Pakistan to India and the help she got from Muslim friends. She was told by the Muslim Station Master, that being under instructions, he has to open firing on people when train stops at the station. He said he will do so, in air, & that the 3 sisters should run and board the train, irrespective. They ran barefoot across fields leaving behind all possessions they ever had.

That was my first lesson on history.

That was also the day I had an impression about my mother. She is strong & Brave.She never saw her father again.

Circa 1989 , in Meerut (UP) was on a rickshaw ( manual) with my mother.Felt very embarrassed and told her next time when she travels with me , it would in car only. Circa 91 bought my own car and was driving her mostly between Noida and Meerut. She reminded me of my resolve / promise to her, which I had almost forgotten.

That was my first lesson in Mother's pride.

That was also the day I had an impression about my mother. She will always make you look and feel better.

It was an awesome day for my mother , sometime in 1981 / 1982 .A Day when her eldest son , my brother, was starting his life as a businessman .She was all decked up and applied nail polish. I noticed it for the first time. I was all of 16/17 then. Later in the evening I told her never to apply nail polish ever again, as that makes her look like so many other women. She felt odd but smiled.

That was my first lesson on beauty.Beauty of a mother is unique & special.

That was also the day I learnt that all mothers are beautiful. They are unique. Each one of them. They should always stay that way , is the wish and hope of the children. Mothers must be preserved.

My mother married quite late.She was almost 27 years. Quite late , in India of 50s. Intrigued I asked her. The story that she shared made me think. She was there helping her eldest sister, a widowed women, help her raise her young kids , while the sister , a trained nurse, earned the bread to feed a large family. That was more critical than being married.

That was my lesson on Sacrifice.

That day I also learned that being self less is not easy. But Mothers do it effortlessly. It is second nature to them.

There is so much to write and share. Nothing can be enough for mothers. Any mother.

I was tempted to title this blog with my mothers name. I did not do so. I believe with some changes of dates and events , this could very well be the story of any mother in this world, as told by her children.

I live away , so I call her up and talk every week , atleast. She would never say anything about her health or physical condition unless asked. At end of the call she would say " Jeende Raho, Lambi Umra'n". How I wish each child can wish and say the same to their old and ailing mothers. Perhaps it is not customary. I am sure though a prayer in heart is as powerful. I know for sure God above us knows the heart of each child and is doing his best under the circumstances.

I am fortunate to have this lady as my mother. Literally. She told me long time back that she had planned to abort me. I was the third child. She changed her mind. What, If she had not changed her mind. I would not have known this beautiful & wonderful human being. My Mother.Thank you.

Weekends are for NOTHING

Of late , I have been very regular on Facebook , ( only on Fridays Mornings) and post an interesting & funny update on Importance of weekend exhorting my friends to use it as a depleting resource and make most of it. The most profound impact has been on me , myself. It is almost 12 weeks that I have posted update on Weekends and since then I believe I have been able to do much better in terms of - slow down , relax , chill , take it easy , family etc.

I do almost the same things as I used to do earlier on weekends , but it seems that now I like them more. These two days move at a magical , relaxing pace.

I have also noticed that the depressing feeling on sunday evenings , is not there anymore.The usual feeling of Monday, on Sunday evening, has gone away . On reflection I guess it has to do with how I have started managing and dealing my weekend. It is therefore nothing to do with Monday Blues but more to do with how we have lived through the weekend.

I have done enough preamble so let me now share somethings that I have done ..the HOW

1.First and foremost I have stopped creating a personal " To Do list" for weekend .Not alone not with family. I would rather let it flow out over breakfasts and lunch with family on saturdays.
2.I am never in a hurry to end something I am doing , just because I have to start another thing. There are no time tables.
3.I do not reject any thoughts that come first to my mind now on weekends , on what should I be doing next. If it means , leaving a book I am reading , just because I have seen that dining chairs would do with some cleaning, so be it. I am off with cleaning chairs next 30-40 minutes.
4.Taking small naps anytime of the day , has become my signature now.
5.We go out when we are ready, rather than get ready by agreed time. I dont insist anymore on my family to be punctual on agreed time , to be ready to go out. So we go out when we are ready.

Weekends are for doing nothing. I am on my way to achieve whatever perfection is possible to achieve" nothingness". I am not sure where I have reached on this journey. But I am enjoying it. Join me in celebrating and providing the " Weekends" the respect that they so richly deserve.

Remember GOD created teh weekends. Respect GOD , respect Weekends.

Success @ Failures

We all have loved stories , From early childhood stories of " Ek Tha Raja" from our grandparents and parents to Chacha Chaudhries & Amar Chitra Kathas to Films and TV.We love them , we adore them and very often we do learn from them, when we care to pause and reflect.

In this day and age of nuclear families and fast paced Double Income households, we have probably lost the art of pause and reflection to so much happening around us. Perhaps we think , this is a luxurly pursuit and let it be left to thinkers.

However , those who do pause and reflect , do learn from incidents , events, people & situations happening dime a dozen in their own lives. They grow wiser from it. Only they do. Or may be a very small group of friends and family , if they chose to talk and discuss about it. Even that may not happen as we all fear censure and ridicule , havent we heard - Fools make mistakes and Wise men learn from it.We all want to be known as wise.

My take is " Learning happens " even when you may be perceived as a fool or a wise person.

Why label ourselves.We all make mistakes . Dont we.But when we learn from them and avoid repitition , we all are wiser and not fool's anymore.

Organizations realise the cost of mistakes and hence HR / Business Managers encourage employees to share their failures. They almost make " Failure a celebration". They have an interest in doing so. They dont want precious resources of company being wasted- Time and Money - and with such sharings they avoid repititions and repeated failures.

Do we have similar mechanism in our small communities of family and friends. NO. Do we have larger communities talking about it . NO. Is there any way that we all can understand our issues and their resolutions as a student ,Children , parents, Spouse amd a member of society.

Perhaps there is. Perhaps a networking cutting across close family and friends , perhaps a collobrative society culture and perhaps colloborative learning will help.

We do find lot of self help books now on shelves of book shops , where people go to buy books and learn from EXPERTS , who seem to have an answer. However how many have access to them .

I am therefore inclined to believe that we must , as a role holder in our families, share our failures and learnings from it , in personal capacity . The sharing could be from events and situations where we acted prudently but in hindsight realised our approach was not correct. These situations could range from decisions about child education stream , to choosing a groom / bride for your kid , to choice of career etc.

What is the purpose of your life?

I regularly watch videos on ted.com. If anyone has not known or seen the videos posted by them, do so at the earliest. Inspiring & thought provoking. One such video provoked me to write this blog.

In the video I saw, the speaker goes to great lengths to argue & establish that organizations which successfully sustain themselves over long period of time do it based on “why” – purpose of their existence and not on “what” they produce/sell to customers. He goes to great length and with evidences attempts to establish that customers respond to genuine purpose of organizations; their why?

One case comes to me of “Wal-Mart” which I believe is also an example of what has been stated above. Sam Walton, founder of Walmart, said in 60s, that their purpose / mission is to bring down the cost of living for an average American. Profound, Sincere, Transparent, ambitious. Firstly his own employees believed him. Secondly the customers believed him as the “why” of walmart aligned with their “why The case that is being made here is that, People are not buying “what they (walmart) sell”; that is product at lowest price; people are buying because of “why” Wal-Mart is selling. ”. In the following years, many emerged as competition in this space for Walmart, but customers continued to believe in walmart more than anyone else.
This concept works in various situations and environments, just that terminology changes. Let us look at selling. In selling, it is said that seller must identify needs of a prospect. Isn’t identifying need of prospect “why”, customer proposes to buy the product? It is.

Companies research the needs and pain points of customers before designing and marketing the product/services. These needs are “why “the customer will consider & buy their product. While buying he is convinced of “why” you wish to sell to him. He believes your intention to produce that good/service is to “help him satisfy his need”; his” why” to buy. If they believe otherwise, a mass of them, critical mass, will not touch the product.

Let us look at situations within organizations. People work for people. People work with people. Only when a subordinate senses the purpose, explicitly or implicitly, “why” of actions being demanded of him by his organization, senior, leader, boss as uplifting, honest & sincere- does he go about putting his heart & soul in achieving it. Leaders establish purpose. Leaders do not drive people. Purpose drives followers, subordinates, teams, organizations. I am sure employee takes “pride” even today@ Wal-Mart; as they truly believe that their leaders are sincere to the purpose. Hence, employees at their own levels contribute to cutting costs, avoiding wastages, controlling leakages, driving efficiencies etc. Once “why” is established, they know “what” to do.

Let us look at our relationships @home. Our ability to manage our child develops considerably when we share with him the “why” of what we are asking him to do (what). Try it out with a youngster. Tell him to do something and more than likely you will hear him whispering F%$@ o%$. Explain “why” you want him to do that and you have a fan. Is this not very basic & is this not the way we want ourselves to be treated? Yes of, course.

At the root of Chris Argyris’s concept of “Advocacy & inquiry” is enabling people to reveal & share “why” they say “what” they are saying, to be able to travel the “Ladder of inference” together & reach a common, shared understanding. Advocacy & inquiry helps establish alignment around the core ” why” than “what”.

It is true everywhere that people respond to “why” and not “what”. We all know it. We forget the basics. We focus too much on “what”. Great Movements are built on “purpose”. People have followers because of purpose. Gandhi had a purpose. Did people follow him or followed his purpose. I think it was the purpose. His “why” had become people’s “why”. Freedom movement sustained and we won independence.
Do you know your “why”, your purpose or are you just going around doing” what” others have done in the past or are doing today ? Perhaps this could be the reason of our stress & unhappiness. Following the “what” but not asking “why”.

"Why” is a difficult question to ask yourself but track record of successful people & organizations suggested that it makes life easy. Wanna bet.

Reference check of Employers

These days, we hear & in some cases experience that employers are using internal and external resources to conduct reference check on candidates to verify claims on salary / experience etc as some of them encountered false declarations from candidates.

Who is to be blamed - Obviously candidates. You just cannot lie , be untruthful to organization which will provide you employment and career.

Let us reverse the discussions for a moment.

I am sure most of the new joinees in middle/senior management encounter surprises and shocks after joining a company. While they are communicated great things about the organization and its practices , they do find a yawning gap between promises and delivery.

Is it not fair for candidates to ask for names of ex candidates from these companies to carry out a verification on various things which impact his work and output. Work culture , Execution culture , delegations , independence etc.

Candidates should ask to spend a day in the organization meeting a lot of people asking and seeking out what they deem fit to be checked about the prospective employer.

Is it asking for too much.

I do not think so. I believe in next 3-5 years this will start happening.

In fact people may be reluctant to joing certain organizations and these very companies will offer such an opportunity to market them selves. What a day it will be!!!

Think !!!

Do not Fight Pigs - You'll Lose Anyway

How many of you have been at the vicious end of political manipulations in the course of your professional life. I am sure most of us. How have we handled them ?.

I have been at the receiving end on probably more than one occasion. Frankly I remember only one. Other perhaps were too insignificant that they are completely erased from my memory.

It is very interesting that, in 1998-99 while working in a PSU, when I was subjected to political manipulations of some seniors & co workers, I experienced gamut of emotions. I was livid and with a vengeance was contemplating taking them on with a viciousness. It was providence that during this time, I was asked to attend a program by Shiv Khera “Blue print for success” in Oct 99 at Delhi. While the overall program was “Feel good” one thing made a lot of sense to me, probably due to the situation I was living and going through.

He stated “Do not fight pigs”. When you fight them you go down in dirt and filth and even if you physically win over them you have been laid low and dirtied. That is precisely the intention of the “Pigs”.get you down in the Filth they relish so much.

I came back a changed manfrom the program. I promised to myself that “I will never fight pigs”. I have not done so till date. I have been tempted though. I have dealt with them, not fought them.

This lesson has proved once again that persistence & values in life are important. The gentlemen, who started a vicious campaign against me, had the gall to seek certain professional help from me in 2003 when he was at the receiving end of a vicious political vendetta in the organization. By that time I was in another organization. I unconditionally provided him the required help. He did acknowledge at the end of it that he was probably wrong and was fooled by others in 98-99 to do what he did.

When he did apologize in a manner he did, I had already forgotten it. But I remember it today to be able to say Thank You Shiv for that lesson. I am happy to be not fighting Pigs. I can’t avoid them though. I know however how to deal with them. Don’t fight them. They will lose.

Great Organizations- Stay Simple, Logical & Transparent

This is continuation of my last blog. After I wrote the last blog , I kept thinking of something that I know about other organizations which is worth sharing with readers.

I was reminded of probably 2002 0r 2003 , I was taking a flight from Delhi to Mumbai. As my vehicle approached the Delhi Airport, I saw Mr Narain Murthy getting down from a car ( not mercedes ). I saw him getting off , picking his small bag and walked in to the airport .Alone. No Chaperones. No security. Contrast this with CMD of a Major Banking company whom I incidentally saw in the morning at Bombay Airport who was escorted by two individuals from airport lounge till aircraft seat who left after depositing him in the seat and keeping his bags.

Nevertheless coming back to Mr Narain Murthy.

As luck would have it, I again noticed , je was in front of me in Jet economy Flight queue for Check in. Intrigued, I introduced myself and initiated a conversation with him. I did ask him that I was surprised to see him standing in an economy class queue.

The tall man that he is - simply replied. There is a travel policy in Infosys- Any direct flight less than 3 hours everybody flies economy class- It sounded simple. Well it was simple to understand and execute.
Employees feel great with such policies. Administrators feel good about interpretation. No one can play favorites, well almost. All see being treated equal . All see themselves in organization being treated as Resource. Feels great to feel this way.

Such philosophy I am sure guides Infosys in all its policy making and business decision making.

I am forced to think , what all does it take to be a great organization.

Stay Simple. Stay Logical. Stay Transparent.

It is when we complicate & not have no sound logic, we tend to avoid tranparency in organizations.

Great Organizations

I met a gentlemen today who has joined us , few days back. I interacted with him on his background & experiences. One thing apart from his family details, which struck me was -He just could not stop talking and gushing about his last organization. He shared possibilly each and everything about good things that happened to him in his 5 year stint. Salary went up by 11 times, access to Senior Management Etc, focus on quality of life etc.

One thing that has prompted me write here today - may surprise the readers.

After his resignation he has been asked to avail a reward of 3 day trip to Phuket in Jan 2010. He is due to receive his gratuity only after complete 5 years of service. Organization has still given him the gratuity amount to him even though he was 2 months short.

We may have read & shared that exiting employees must be treated as Brand Ambassadors. I saw it unfolding in front of me. It seemed like a fairy tale.

Organizations should learn. Do they even understand positive implication of these actions. Most of them don't.

Some decisions are so far in time and space that we - mere mortals and organizations- do not understand the impact of actions / decisions taken today.

I am sure organizations like the one I got to know today, would lead the way and show to the world that it is possible to marry profit motive with other motives in an organization. Hats Off .